For any woman who has recently experienced a bad break-up or divorce, I have a fool-proof way to help you to move on from that fool! It’s time to reclaim your independence (and possibly your dignity) by reclaiming the room in your home that likely reminds you most of your relationship – YOUR BEDROOM!
I subscribe to a “tough love” philosophy at times and it’s an approach that doesn’t work for every recipient. But sometimes ripping off that band-aid – or in this case, ripping off those old bed linens — is the best way to move forward.
When I got divorced, my ex and I made an atypical arrangement that had me, the woman and mother, moving out of the apartment where lived with our kids prior to our split. The mere idea of the move was traumatic for me, but it gave me the chance to create a completely new environment for myself which made moving on with my life so much easier. Decorating my new apartment ended up being my therapy.
I put special focus on my new bedroom. I wanted a space that truly reflected who I was and also who I wanted to be in my new life — DARING (note the off-white leopard rug, yes I do have children!!), BOLD (note the hot pink chair and graphic curtain fabric) and ULTRA-FEMININE (what could be more girly than a hot pink, tufted, curvy headboard)! And of course SEXY!
This room was all about me — a gift that I gave to myself at a time that I really needed it. I designed the room to reflect the self-loving female in me — a new-found woman who cared for herself, indulged herself and put her own needs and desires first. Hot pink was my color of choice because it was girly and strong at the same time. While I intended this room to be an ode to my independence, I didn’t want to scare off potential suitors, so I tempered the hot pink with taupe – I was trying to be mindful of the future I wanted to create at the same time that I was designing my present.
I always push the envelope with color when I design for myself, but I have many risk-averse clients who are not so brazen in their choices, and the scheme below is an example of a quieter version of a perfect room for the post break-up woman. Here I combined shades of plum, blush, and ivory – soft and feminine but neutral enough to accommodate a future man.
While the floral appliqued curtain fabric from Romo is definitely girly, the majority of the fabrics in the room are simple textures in luxurious materials.
Similar but a bit more modern is this scheme which is more lavender in tone.
This bedroom needs a fantastic pair of night tables. This oval one from the Thomas Pheasant line at Baker has a great space to stack the inspirational reading material you might need to help you get through the break-up and beyond — whether it be beautiful art books or self-help titles — whatever puts you to sleep in a good and hopeful mood!
While I love the clean lines and the oval shape of the table above, another choice for an even more modern look is the two-toned Mondrian Night Table, also from Baker. This one offers even more open shelf space below — which may be better for you depending on how much help and inspirational reading you need!
And then there’s the bed — THE piece in the room that really screams memories of your relationship! If you can afford to, get rid of your old one!! This beauty from Lewis Mittman is one you definitely won’t mind sleeping in alone!
Of course new sheets are a must and those alone can transform your old bed into something new. I am somewhat of a purist when it comes to bed linens, preferring white sheeting with a little bit of colored embroidery. When I or a client want to splurge, I purchase custom made linens from Fine Linens. But when looking for faster, less expensive options, I recommend Restoration Hardware.
Once your new bed is dressed in your new bed linens, feel free to hog all the covers and enjoy the room that is now all yours — for the time-being anyway!